get tangled up in me.

ironic title. that song makes me afraid of things to come. I'm terrified that song means something.
i'm also terrified about something else. It would be a totally backstabbing move and i don't think i could let myself do it. But i'm not sure i have the choice. I'm stuck.
Things are weird. I'm tired beyond comprehension. I have to tell my mom i'm staying after school tomorrow. I'm wating for nightmares about creepy men tap tap tapping at my windows. I've got terrible chest pains.
im going back to feeling pathetic and reading blogsecrets.

gentle leaves, gentle leaves, please array a path for me...

...The wood's all growing thick and fast around.

i think i torture myself. there is nothing i want more than to be someone im not.

:\

lasjdksdieprlvmvhdaifslkdfl.

my family is driving me crazy. mostly my sister. shes like becoming very hormonal. and shes been harassing me and my sister incessantly. i don't even understand it. recently i cant stand this house. whatever. *sigh*

are you afraid of me?

reading frankenstein?
not gonna happen. sigh. im going to fail the quiz tommorrow. hopefully sparknotes will pull through.

I went to a yoga class today with GS and i really enjoyed it. You just get so relaxed, and you don't think about anything but relaxing your body. I think I might try to do it more often. It was really nice. And its a good stretch for me.

Things have been kinda borning recently. I've been in a vicious bad mood, but its all like built up. I can tell. Its happened before. So its not anything I can fix now. I just have to work through all this bad crap I'm subconciously dealing with. Maybe if I do yoga or meditation I can just relax and let it all go.

Sigh. And my Zune isnt charged... so no music before bed. I'll have to pull out a cd or something.

its a bittersweet symphony.

im thinking about doing some sort of big art project. just something big. like a series of paintings. or sketches.

i think that possibly, maybe im falling for you

had a fabulous time at the concert last night, my first concert. it was quite small, and we actually got to talk to the guys in the band, they were very nice and funny... and hot, might i add. they played very well. I even bought one of their EPs. and emily can burn me the other two bands EPs. hehe.

speaking of music... listen to Backseat Goodbye... if you like him hes giving out his whole album for free + his new single at freecd.backseatgoodbye.com. no gimicks or attachments. he just wants to spread his music around for all who enjoy it. i think thats so amazing, to just give music out for all to enjoy.

Pondered things all day. It was just a thinking day today. I did nothing but think.

I should really be sleeping. sigh. i just have things on my mind, nothing particularly specific, just generalities.

listen to Landon Pigg. hes really great, you've probably heard Coffee Shop on the AT&T commercial.

We could be laughing lovers , I think you'd prefer to be miserable instead.

You know when you just want to sleep so you can get away from it all? Like some people resort to drugs or alcohol... well I'm beginning to think sleep has become my escape. I come home, and even when I'm not tired i hide under a blanket and curl up and fall asleep. My dreams have become the only sane thing... and my dreams aren't sane. believe me. 

I can't pinpoint my emotions. I feel about 70 emotions and i don't know why, or for what. some would peg that as being a teenager, or pms or something... but its not.

I need the weekend. And i need my friends.

I'm also freaking out because we have 30 days of school left. I can't handle knowing im going to be a junior. and that i have to grow up. i wish i could slow time. i wish i could re-do everything just to prolong this dreaded process. most people are excited for school to end... i dread it. it means im that much closer to getting older, to growing up, to moving on, to leaving friends, to responsibility, to going into the cruel world.

sigh. im going to listen to some Franz Ferdinand now.

. . .

Life isnt fair. And I'm coming to terms with that.

And its even more unfair that you have to watch other people find out too.