granola bars, obscure tribal music, and reading.

Thats what my day consisted of. Oh yeah, and silence. It was fabulously incredible. I did nothing but.
Lately im sick of Girl Scouts. We don't do anything anymore, and we have two leaders who don't like each other. One who can be a nag, downer, and dictator... but fantastically organized. The other is too chill, doesnt get involved, and tries too hard... but seems to appeal to the majority of my troop. They don't mix. and I missed a meeting because i don't keep a calendar, and i dont check my email frequently. But i had more fun being alone, in the house, all day. reading and eating a granola bar.
So I was listening to obscure british indie rock, and wierd pop/thrashing metal. And a little bit of random sound avant-garde. Thank you Owen Armstrong and other inspiring people.
And im dying for school on monday.
Clearly insanity.

Will i grow wild, speaking so mild, forgot about the engine in the rain.

so yeah i dont remember what i was going to type. hehehe. sorry for wasting your time.

father time

Days go slowly by

But time never seems to stop

to say goodbye.

I'm missing out

On all that i could achieve

Because im scared; 

In myself, I can't believe.

I'm moving on

So here's to the few

Childhood memories

Before I bid them adieu.

Sing your father's bedtime song

The song that helps you sleep

You can't sing it very long

Its not fair, I agree, blame time

Father time, keeper of the pendulum

The clock of your life has begun to chime.

just little poem-ish things. ive gotten myself into writing poems again. i used to a lot. im not very good but i like it.

omg.

i sent it. he liked it. im scared out of my mind. but i feel better.

love is old, love is new

my family is driving me nuts. i really just want to be alone. i plan on going to bed after this post. i already feel depressed enough. i really can't explain myself. i just feel like everything and everyone is intensified. like i cant handle things because i already have these things on my mind. and i want people to be there, but i want to be alone... i should consider therapy. ive probably got a sick mind.

Have faith in what you've got and it will carry us all, carry us all.

clearly too obvious i like him. and i feel like i can't say anything to anyone because i drown in my own words, and i can't stop talking about him. Some people probably don't mind, others probably do. I wish i wasnt a hopeless romantic. it would make things so much easier. And no one even gets how far i've fallen. and no one reads what we say, so they dont know. And even if i tried, i wouldnt be able to say it in a comprehensible manner. recently "akjskdjaksd" (or any arrangement of random letters) is my new word. because i cant get out what i WANT to say. And erg. I have people who listen to me. But i just wish i could tell other people. but i really cant.
Its becoming not fair.

clearly no title tonight

a poem by me:

How fair of you to bid me goodnight
Now its my turn to wish you to sleep tight
Let yourself travel to places you cannot stay
Let your dreams take you far away
To a world of simplest pleasures
Love and comfort without measure
So lay your head down to sleep
until the morning comes, my sweet.

if only i could send it.

goodnight.

"then sleep well, fair maiden of the morn, and upon the bedside waking, will be robins and finches, their red crests shorn, and rye bread for the taking let the moonlight caress the softness of your cheek, while the trees whisper the words lovers are oft to speak so goodnight, rest well, and while the morntime waits, dream of the land of the lost, that forbidden place, and do not awaken until you have sipped your fill of moondew rest and goodnight, o' child of the moonlight's beauty"


<3

is this how just friends say goodnight to each other?

And who knows why The love you need'll always pass you by? And I heard its true your love is gonna grow So let me know

i really appreciate my friends being honest with me about things. it makes me feel really trusting in them. and i may have been a little bummed out, but telling me was the right things to do.


cheesey. but i love them.

But now is not the time to cry Nows the time to find out why I think youre the same as me

i simply live by a couple songs i listen to. They'll never get old. I can listen to them over and over and over. My top 4:

1. Wonderwall by Oasis: This song describes my need to be loved. I want to depend on someone. I want someone to be the one that saves me.

2. Whistle For The Choir by the Fratellis: This song tells the complete truth. The want and need for someone, but not knowing how to say it besides being bold and just saying it. I'm not sure there is another way.

3. Hey There Delilah by The Plain White Ts: Simple song, about loving someone no matter what. That person is the one, the only shining star in the dark of night.

4. Live Forever by Oasis: The similarities between people and the want to figure them out, if your supposed to be together, and if you don't face rejection you'll never know what your missing.

anti valentines day...

im not one for this holiday. its all about gifts now, and how you have to show love by giving out gifts. thats dumb. my family was telling me how stupid i was for saying that, but they had not evidence to say i was wrong. all they could say was that they werent going to get me something next year. oh well.

i like the original idea of valentines day though, to remind you of your love for people, boyfriend, girlfriend, family, friends, or anyone else. but once again retail has corrupted everyone.

so in honor of single awareness day im wearing a pink-ish shirt, and a heart necklace.

I couldnt sleep at all the past 3 days. i keep waking up at 1, or 2 in the morning, and cant sleep, then when i finally do, i wake up at 7 am at the break of dawn. its exhausting me. i need a good full night of REM sleep before school again. otherwise im going to shut down very soon.

i mean thats all have to complain about. I had a blast last night with friends.

dont see Taken. really not worth the money hahahaha. emily knows haha.

Bite Hard.

I'm dying. I woke up at 7 30. i was tossing turning all morning. i feel sleep deprived. i have too much on my mind.

hey flathead... doo do do doo do do doo do do do do do do.

yes two songs. anywho.

went to coraline. good movie, however we came to the conclusion that it should be rated PG-10... due to dark themes, and racy-ness. But had an overall childish theme.

thats all i have to report.

love sucks.

it really does, especially when your reminded everyday that your missing out on that one opportunity to share your love.

She is Electric... Could i be electric too?

ugh. things are just ugh.

I mean things are good, but not.

you tell me what this means.

im clueless.

so indie. oh so indie. you strike me as indie.

This is gonna be a series of individual thoughts because i cant mesh any of my thoughts into one organized blog.
watching the Grammys. Paul McCartney was the highlight of the show. and I have to admit, Stevie Wonder and the Jonas Brothers sounded phenomenal in my opinion. Coldplay is good, but total nominee hogs.
So I got a new camera. Its so awesome. Its my baby, its become one of my prized possesions, along with my Zune, Sketchbook, and Books.
Other than that my life has been boring. I wrote this blog to have interesting things happen but so far... nothing.
I need to get two cds, Tragic Kingdom -No Doubt, and Tonight- Franz Ferdinand. I need to stop being a music mooch.
Go see the Uninvited. Its so good. I'm not one for scary movies. Another movie to watch if you havent seen it yet, I Am Legend. Goood Movie.
My cell phone woke me up at 7 am this morning, and i couldnt fall back asleep, it was one time i was not saying "'Mon the Fratellis."
For once im not really looking forward to school tommorrow, i feel like something just isnt right. I'm in a mood.
BAHAHA SAMUEL L JACKSON CAME ON THE GRAMMYS.
ok im done.

mixed emotions.

im all emotions today. sad, mad, happy, excited, and confused. all at the same time.
ok lets start off with the happy part. I'm doing really well in my classes. this would make some people happy but im more elated. i never used to get As. Especially in math and science. But this year has been so great so far. I mean I started off shaky, but i got an 83 on my spanish midterm. thats really good. and an 88 on my bio midterm, which will bring up my B+ semester grade to an A-. The only class really hard, is History. but its just a hard subject for me.
Ok, excited. I have great new classes (except history). My gym class now has the majority of my friends plus other people i like. Second, I have digital Photo, which looks like its gonna actually be really fun, and i have Sheeran again which is a plus. Lunch worked out good because Steph got to stay with me nikki and lauren.
Now for the downer.
Ok. mad and i suppose sad. because I can't understand all the issues going on. And I just wish people could be happy. And thats so unreasonable because i've had my share of problems. But I hate being the friend who is straddling the line, trying to reason with everyone. And i WANT to listen to people. I like listening. And i dont play sides. What someone says to me stays secret, i never do that. But its so hard to explain to people what i see, because im not involved but i get a different perspective. I don't want to get involved but i want to help. and its confusing.
OK sorry for all that. i needed to get it out. I hate bragging about grades but im finally confident, and i hate talking about friend problems but i just want things to end up ok.
yeah im probably really annoying. adios.

Winning Days

i just got over the WORST headache ive ever endured. it was terribly painful. i wanted to cry. im worried that it was something other than just a headache. but the medicine worked. so im content for now. and i just got a lollipop :]

i dont see what anyone sees in anyone else but you

yeah so midterms are over. and i am so pleased. and i survived without really dying of stress or anything. yeah. and then everyone in my bio class was discussing gynocologists, and how male gynos must be perverts, and i dreadfully wanted to tell them to grow up. not all men are that disturbed, however a good percentage are. and then my cool attitude came into conversation. apparently im just reserved or something. i guess maybe thats true. whatever. well after i waited with noelle outside for the bus for like 29849 hours. and we laughed at jackson's blue hair. then i talked with the estrellas and matt. the estrellas asked me to see if i could ride their bus to my house... yeah it was rather awkward asking... she said no, inevitable. even though she passes my house EVERYDAY. anywho, then i waited a good 15 minutes more for my bus. yeah. and i have far too much energy.

I fell in love, in love, With you suddenly. Now theres no place else, I could be, but, Here in your arms.

Nothing too exciting to discuss. I got my haircut, which was exciting, but really only for me.
Nothing too intellectual to talk about either.
Nothing too romantic either. Besides possibly someone might be in one of my classes.

So basically thats what you get to hear about from me. So you can go back to what your doing, and i can go back to listening to Hellogoodbye to drown out this Football Nonsense. The game hasnt started yet. I'll just grab food, a DVD, and hibernate in my room for the night.