Successful: Yes
Current Mood: Better than I've been in the past two weeks.
Evaluation: Yes I felt like making this all weird for you to read. Anyways, I love my philosophies, they seem to work. I make a revelation about emotion, and how to handle it, and it always helps if I stick with this new idea. So I decided that since getting over him has proven painful and difficult to do, that I have *every* right to still like him.
1. He is not in a relationship.
2. There is still a chance (I don't mean to sound hopeful, but there is)
3. He told me nothing had to change.
4. He doesn't seem to mind that I still flirt.
So those are my reasons. Weirdly, I feel like i did before two weeks ago. . . Its a little eerie. Like extreme déjà vu. I'm not regretting anything like I have been for two weeks. And all the memories of things went back to having meaning again. Like everything at Emily's party meant something, I know it. Maybe not the exact same meaning, but *something*. I have theories. Maybe it's stupid and incredibly naive to let myself fall into this trap. Perhaps I should have learned my lesson. Is this just my brain making up false hope to cope? God I hope not. Maybe I'm setting myself up to get shot down, but I'm ready for that bullet. Seriously. A little masochistic. But I don't think I can get hurt much more than I was, and now I feel like I am past it. I think I'm going to make a Pros and Cons list. Pros to sticking with this crush, and the Cons. I'll get back to you with it. But I am pretty sure this will work for me. Its been successful for the past two days. . . cross your fingers for me.
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