*sigh* i am not looking forward to easter. i feel obligated to believe in something, im not sure i do believe in. i don't even know what i am. and i can't get into the mood. i get the whole meaning of easter, i just don't know. im blindly trying to find something i can put my whole heart into. i feel corrupted. like all my childhood, i was obligated to believe what my parents and everyone else believed, having no say in the matter, and i even grew up through my early teen years thinking that i should believe it cause its just what i believe, but i don't know anymore.
I wish i was still as sick as i was yesterday so i could have an excuse to stay home.
I'm sorry :[ im being really bah humbugish. excuse me.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Blogs of the Past
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2009
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April
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- imagine all the people, living for today.
- How come I end up where I started? How come I end ...
- I’m coming back for more Don’t let your heart go P...
- "Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love, an...
- All the lyrics that I wrote not as smart as the wo...
- so confused.
- jesus stole my baby.
- feeling oh so icky and sicky.
- I'm gonna speak my mind take me up to the top of t...
- I've got troubled thoughts, and a self esteem to m...
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April
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2 comments:
I don't wanna like lecture you or anything and I know you don't know what you believe, but Easter everyone thinks it's like "oh my! Jesus rose form the dead! Hallelujah!" (which is part of it, but people don't realize the whole amazingness about it :P) At church yesterday the pastor was like saying how it's possible that someone COULD be like basically on their death bed and stabs and bleeding and such overnight, and still live like Jesus did. But the thing is How did the tomb stone moveee. It would take at least 3 men to move it from the outside, and it's like impossible to move it from the inside, especially with only one man, who was like killed. SO. II thought it was really interesting cause I never thought the tomb stone part was such a big deal, but it's like there were guards and everything, so it's not like three strong men could have snuck there and moved it silently, ya know ya know :P
no yeah thats really amazing. and it was like a miracle.
but i am just conflicted. maybe its just a teen angst sort of thing. but if i didnt believe in god, i would have just been atheist right away, but i still know theres something out there, something that creates miracles. i just have to find a way to find it. if there is anything to find.
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